haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
