17 year olds will be the death of me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
