It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
