i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
