I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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