is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
