He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
