quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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