Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
