Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
