When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
