porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
