I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
