Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize