Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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