The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize