does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
