Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
