By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
