ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
