how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I know her cup size but not her name....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
