Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
