Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize