It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
