things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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