Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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