OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize