I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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