Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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