he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
