The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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