He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
