my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
one might say we're banned from that church
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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