you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
