Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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