ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm really busy with my period
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