when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
