I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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