I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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