She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
