Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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