I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
