i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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