i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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