he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
