How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
