Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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