that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize