dude i'm inner monologue high
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
