Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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