Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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