he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
