I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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