found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
