its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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