Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
