I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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