idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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