You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
