Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
as a side note pls kill me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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