I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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