So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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