Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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