Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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